momma mommy bwuh

When we bought our home, one of my biggest requirements was that we stay in the area of our current elementary school. That choice also kept us zoned for the nearby middle and high schools, both with solid reputations. Our family has truly been fortunate to be part of such a strong school district. I’ve loved being involved in school activities, and I honestly couldn’t have imagined a better environment for my kids. The teachers and administrators have been nothing short of wonderful.

But lately, I’ve been feeling anxious about Boy1’s education. Third grade is a turning point. Suddenly, grades are no longer letters like M, E, I, or P. Instead, they’re real number grades. The focus shifts away from hands-on learning and toward reading, writing, and studying. For Boy2, this change is exciting—he thrives in these areas. But for Boy1, it’s been overwhelming.

I first noticed the gap at the end of his first-grade year. He wasn’t quite where his peers were academically. We decided to have him repeat first grade in hopes that he could “catch up.” While he made progress, the gap remained. By the end of second grade, it had grown wider. And then came third grade—a leap I wasn’t prepared for. The expectations, the study guides, the quizzes… they revealed just how far apart Boy1’s reality is from the “average” third grader’s.

I had assumed that if he was placed in general education, it meant the work was within his reach. I was wrong.

That realization forced me to step back and really think: What do I want Boy1 to gain from his education?

I want him to read, write, and do simple math.
I want him to follow directions—both simple and complex.
I want him to be able to complete a job application, travel independently around town, and use technology to navigate the world as needed.
I want him to discover something he loves, nurture it, and build on it.
In short, I want him to learn the skills that will allow him to live as independently as possible.

And just as important—here’s what I don’t want.
I don’t want him constantly measured against a standard that doesn’t fit his reality.
I don’t want him forced to struggle through years of work that won’t serve his future.
I don’t want him teased for what he can’t do, or worse, for him to realize that he’s the punchline.
I don’t want him to walk away after 13+ years of school with nothing but a certificate of completion and a bruised sense of self-worth.

I still love our elementary school, our district, and our teachers. They are incredible people doing important work—and I’m so grateful for them, especially for Boy2. But when I look at Boy1’s future, I’m not sure the traditional path is the right one for him anymore. Our ultimate goal for him is independence, and I’m beginning to realize that might require a different approach.

So here I am, diving into something I never thought I’d consider: homeschooling. It wasn’t part of my plan, but as we all know, life has a way of rewriting our plans for us.

Have you ever had to make an unexpected change in your child’s education? What helped you decide what was best for your family?