momma mommy bwuh

According to Google AI, the phrase “it takes a village to raise a child” is widely believed to originate from African proverbs. Its exact source may be unknown, but the sentiment reflects a beautiful, long-standing truth — raising children has always been a collective effort.

When we adopted the boys, one of the best pieces of advice we received was to ask for and accept help. For someone as strong-willed as I am, that’s easier said than done. Getting me to ask for help is like trying to get the government to agree to end a shutdown — it might happen eventually, but it takes a while.

The amazing thing, though, is that when you surround yourself with the right people, you don’t always have to ask. Support simply shows up.

Let’s talk about our village. It’s a pretty decent size — larger than I ever imagined it would be, honestly. We have our families, friends, school staff, sports teams, doctors, therapists, and more.

Family is often a built-in support system, but not always. Sometimes family members live far away, or they’re not available or supportive. And sometimes, relationships can be complicated. For me, the family members I include in our village are the ones who lift us up — not the ones who bring us down. We’re intentional about surrounding ourselves with positivity and joy because that’s what I want around us, and around my kids.

The teachers, therapists, and staff at our kids’ elementary school were some of the earliest members of our village. When Boy1 and I first met with them, they immediately wrapped us in warmth and made us feel at home. It’s been like that ever since — even after pulling him from school. I’ve run into several of his former teachers and therapists since then, and they’ve been nothing but understanding and supportive. Walking the halls of that school, with or without my kids, and being recognized and hugged — it’s a feeling I don’t take for granted. We’re so lucky to have them as part of our village.

An unexpected part of our village has been our sports family. The boys have been playing soccer at the YMCA for two years now with the same amazing coach — patient, kind, and so understanding of Boy1’s unique needs. The assistant coaches have been consistent, too, and they know the boys nearly as well as the coach himself. After seven seasons together (fall, winter, and spring), the boys have played alongside many of the same kids since their tiny U6 days. Looking back at those first-season photos — those little faces and tiny uniforms — I realized they didn’t just grow as soccer players together, they grew up together.

Making friends with the other parents has been another unexpected gift. We don’t just cheer from the sidelines and chat about soccer — we talk about life, school, homeschool, adoption… the things that really matter.

What I’ve learned through all of this is that no two villages look the same. Some families have a “dance village” instead of a sports one. Others may not have the same school support or family involvement. And that’s okay. What matters is that your village — whatever it looks like — lifts you up, supports your kids, and makes the load a little lighter.

💭 Who’s part of your village — the people (or groups) who help you raise, support, and celebrate your kids?